Life of a Barn Wife

So I have done 2.5 days of the Beach Body workouts and my legs are on fire. Today halfway through my right leg was shaking so bad, but I made myself push through. Yesterday I didn’t push myself as hard, I made accommodations when needed. Today I did it with Ginny and her presence empowered me. I know it’s only been 3 days, but I have noticed a difference in my mental state. I finally sat down and got super productive with school, I’ve contributed to be productive at my house and I just feel better.  I am still anxious about school though. All of the questions that are unanswered race through my mind all day. My professors have uploaded videos and revised content but my biggest stress is when will I do it all? My daughter naps for a 1-2 hour window which will be occupied with watching the video content and participating in zoom meetings. That leaves after she goes to sleep every night for me to finish everything else. I know some people have it worse, and I know I’ll get in a grove,...

I see the meme's floating around Facebook all the time about how hard it is to raise a child exactly like you. Let me tell you, it is frustrating and I can't help for feel bad for my mom! These past few days have been trying, as has every other day since I can remember, but Ginny seems to be on a new level. She is testing everything I say, she is talking back, she is out of control. I know she is learning and trying to find her place in the world, so I try to pick my battles based on importance but man she is on fire. She has been waking up at the crack of dawn (which really sucks because I can't sleep), with a bad attitude. I know that everyone in my house is stressed and I am sure she can feel that, I can see she is cutting some teeth, but its hard to not lose my cool when she screams "STOP IT MOM" and throws her milk at me.  The most frustrating part of it all is that she can speak so clearly and typically does a great job of communicating what she is askin...

Self-Quarantining Well we are on day 6 of 14 of our CDC recommended self-quarantining. So far it hasn't been too bad, since we live on 20 acres and have family down the road. We have practiced social distancing   but were able to visit with family outside . Yesterday was hard though, I don't know if I was just in a weird head space from the stomach bug I had, or what but I was down. As the rain poured down yesterday so did my attitude. I was super productive during my temporary depression, but it was not my best day. I couldn't shake my bad attitude and my urge to leave my house and this dirt road and go somewhere! Luckily, I have been able to see people here and there or I think I would totally be depressed. This morning when my daughter woke up before the sun, I instantly felt defeated. Before the day had even begun I felt like I had lost. I decided to do my best to get out of this negative mood quickly. We came downstairs and as she ate her breakfast, I impulsive...

I spent half of the day throwing up and arguing with my toddler. Today was a long hard day.  Fighting a stomach bug when you have a young child at home is harder than I could have ever imagined. Everytime I ran in to the restroom she would cry for me to play with her and my heart broke.  We did next to nothing today except watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Mickey’s Mixed up Adevntures, but ya know what? We survived the day so whatever.  When I started feeling a little better we ventured outside for a few minutes to feed the cows, and then we did some painting to give her a little fun!

Balance Trying to find a good balance of academic time, chill time, outdoor time and just fun time is hard. My daughter is only 21 months old but I feel this push to suddenly start doing more with her with all of the free academic resources that have been released.  Here is our little routine so far: 8:00-10:00- Wake up! (You literally never know with her, and I learned early not to wake a sleeping bear) 10:00-11:00- Morning cheers with bacon and eggs! We do a small circle time with flashcards and songs. We toast with our milk and coffee and we make breakfast while we watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. 11:00-11:30- READ! She will sit and let me read to her for up to an hour sometimes, but sometimes she likes to "read" to herself. 11:30-12:00- Free play, we literally play with every toy she has during this time. 12:00-12:30- Take a walk outside and feed the cows. 12:30-1:00- Eat a light lunch. 1:00-3:30- Nap time! 3:30-4:00- READ, usually she will sit wit...

Fear My anxiety does not pair well with all of the unknowns we are facing in the world today. I am a person with questions who likes straight answers, but that is not possible right now. Nobody can tell me what tomorrow holds. Tomorrow my mom is having major surgery and because of COVID-19 I will not be allowed to see her until she is released.  When my mom called to tell me that I wont be able to be there during surgery or see her after, I could hear the sadness in her voice and the worry. She is having major surgery tomorrow, but she was worried about me and how I would handle it. I guess that is just a mother's job, but that is why she is my hero. She is scared out of her mind for herself and all of the unknowns in her future, but her biggest concern was making sure I would be alright. I haven't been able to sleep thinking about her procedure, and I am not sure I will until she is home safely, but all I can do is pray. The fear inside my bones is so real it hurts....

High-Stakes I just thought I would share my input, that nobody asked for, about high-stakes testing. Last week before spring break started I had a midterm in one of my classes. Test anxiety for me is a real thing, but since I have been an adult and more aware of time-management and my own shortcomings, it is not so bad. I prepare ahead of time, I study in chunks and I have been making it work. However, on Thursday night my test anxiety came rushing back and took over my whole body. Our professor kindly let us use a sheet of notes on our midterm, he specified however that he wanted them to be handwritten and unique to each learner. Well, lets just say a table in the back didn't get the memo and they all had photocopied and laminated one sheet of notes. When confronted by our professor they became upset and mean. Our professor tried to keep his cool, but by this point the whole class was feeling uncomfortable as they lied and spoke aggressive towards him. He...