Exhausted.
Being a young mom people often ask me "how are you doing?" Well, I am exhausted. I am going to school full time, I am momming full time and I am doing the best I can. While I know I have the luxury of not having to work during this time, it doesn't make it any less exhausting. Especially as we are entering a new phase with our daughter.
Ginny gets all of my attention during the day everyday except Tuesdays and Thursdays (I am in class at Sam Houston State University). At night I study and do homework for 3-4 hours and I NEVER end up in bed before midnight. Lately life is going to bed around 1 am and waking up bright and early to "hot diggity dog mama" around 6 am.
As I mentioned we are getting in to a new phase with Ginny, she is quickly approaching 2 years old. I know everyone talked about the "terrible twos" and I hate to call it that, because I wont lie, I do think she is perfect as most mothers do. However, this week, this week was terrible. This week has tested me in ways I could have never imagined.
Monday at the grocery store she decided she didn't want to sit in the basket, well that wasn't an option. She slapped me across the face. WHAT? My eyes just froze locked with hers, I did not know what to do. I wanted to yank her out of that basket and run to the car crying, but we NEEDED groceries. After we both calmed down I told her that was unkind and she hurt me, I work very hard with her about using her words and talking things out. She apologized and I thought we were done.
Two days later at Academy with my husband, she did it again, but this time she slapped him and in front of what felt like 200 people. I picked her up out of the cart and we walked back to the car, both of us crying. I sat in the back of the car with her as she sobbed and apologized and asked to go shopping.
That's when it hit me. She is exhausted to. Her schedule is just as busy as mine (minus the homework). She plays all day, shes constantly learning new things as I drag her here, there and everywhere. Her brain is exhausted. Now the slapping is not acceptable, and we will work on it together. However, my main goal at this point is to notice. To try and notice that when I am at my breaking point of exhausted and I am overwhelmed to notice how she is handling it and help her through it.
Slowing down from the blow and go that is our lives right now. I think that is what we both need. Today we are going to paint our nails, make cinnamon rolls, cuddle on the couch and read some books! Parenting is hard and it is exhausting to question every single choice you make and pray to god that it was the right one, but as exhausting as it is, I wouldn't change a thing. I mean just look at this smile.
Ginny is adorable. Love that bow!
ReplyDeleteParenting IS hard. Doing it while you’re in school is exhausting!
I will tell you, the twos are hard, but the threes are harder. However, at three you can rationalize with them a lot easier than when they’re two. And then four gets easier!
ANYWAY, welcome to the SOLSC Community. I hope you have a wonderful month of writing and commenting.
This is beautiful in so many ways. Your craft allowed me to feel the ups and downs, the hopes and fears. I loved your turning point : That's when it hit me. She is exhausted to. Her schedule is just as busy as mine (minus the homework). She plays all day, shes constantly learning new things as I drag her here, there and everywhere. Her brain is exhausted. It is so important to slow down, breathe, reflect and remember they are tiny humans. As a mom of now 18 and 20 year olds, I will tell you the ability to slow down, breathe, reflect, and remember they are human will go a long way in parenting. Welcome to Slice of Life - I look forward to connecting with you.
ReplyDeleteCinnamon buns! What a wonderful way of connecting with your daughter, side by side, kneading dough, sprinkling cinnamon and sugar together then smelling the delightful aroma wafting out the oven. I am sure when she grows up, and smells cinnamon, she will remember and cherish the time you spent together baking.
ReplyDeleteIt is wise of you to realize that her hitting is a symptom of something else. Your writing clearly expresses how much you love your family and appreciate all the blessings that you have been given.
Sometimes I think we forget the the routine of being a child is just as exhausting as the routine of being an adult. You have realized this and now are addressing it. Welcome to SOL. Have a great month of writing.
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone! Two is hard and parenting is hard! Your day today sounds perfect.
ReplyDeleteYour honesty about parenting and being exhausted makes this writing authentic. Two is an interesting age of learning and discovering and finding one's voice. Cinnamon rolls, books and cuddles are helpful at all ages.
ReplyDeleteWelcome! Oh how I remember those days! You are on the right track. You are seeking ways to be proactive rather than reactive. That is hard to do in the heat of the moment! One phrase that gets me through tough times is, "This, too, shall pass." I'm glad you are here!
ReplyDeleteParenting is so hard, but you are such a good role model for her! Hang in there. The two's also have really amazing parts. :)
ReplyDeleteMorgan I love how honest you are. I see your love for Ginny every time you mention her and hope you know she will grow up seeing what a strong woman truly looks like! I am also hoping this challenge gives me time to slow down and find some joy in what sometimes feels like the day to day drag. Thank you for sharing this slice of your life, I look forward to following your blog.
ReplyDeleteWow. This made me stop and think about my own relationship with my baby. I feel silly, but I just noticed the similarities in our moods. When I am exhausted and grumpy, he usually is too. It is is probably for similar reasons! We are in a similar mommy and school boat! It CAN BE SO EXHAUSTING. Thank you for the eye opener! <3
ReplyDeleteOMG!!! This really connected to me! My post titles are "sleep" and "exhaustion". Making sure my daughter and I had enough sleep was the toughest lesson I learned as a mother. I had my worst moment as a parent in which I verbally said, "I cannot be a mother!" I was working full time, my daughter just started kindergarten and had to go to before and after school program. My job was stressful and it affected my mothering. Children around your daughter's age are always changing. Once you figure them out they switch on you! It gets easier! Hang in there! You are a stay at home mom and full time student! Two of the hardest jobs ever! Hurry up spring break!
ReplyDeleteJennifer